I hate spiders. They’re unnatural. I know they are actually entirely natural, but they shouldn’t be, and they give me the willies. My boyfriend gives me that “you’re bigger than they are, they have more reason to be scared of you have to be scared of them” business, but of course it doesn’t help. To me, every spider might as well be Shelob. I know they’re coming for me. I know they plan to crawl over my face while I sleep, throwing themselves into my mouth in their suicidal desire to make true that outrageous statistic that we all eat 4 spiders a year in our sleep. Don’t kid yourself, they’re coming for you too.
Unfortunately, Halloween is a time when North America embraces spiders as a jolly way to celebrate the season, which just goes to show you how messed up our culture is. People think it’s a great idea to stick big hairy fake spiders to shop windows windows and shove plastic arachnids in your jello. People decorate with these horrid little (or, in cases like this, big) monsters.
