Today I’m going to explain the very simple process of turning normal jeans into skinny jeans.

The obvious question is, of course, why would you want to? Skinny jeans look good on girls under the age of 12 and girls who look like they’re under the age of 12. And that’s pretty much it. Oddly enough, the name “skinny jeans” does not actually mean that they’ll make you look skinnier, as you’d hope. Quite the opposite. If you’re pear shaped, like me, they turn your hips into a veritable beacon shouting to the world, “Here I am! Hips – round, child-bearing hips! Right here!” Not generally what a girl wants…

The thing is, skinny jeans are very much in fashion, so regardless of how they look people will wear them. It’s not like they’re the worst fashion trend. Remember those little double ruffle skirts from 4 or 5 years ago that barely covered one’s bum? Those were worse. So were shoulder pads. And neon leg warmers. Neon anything, really.

But the main selling point is that skinny jeans are practical, in that they allow you to tuck your pants into your boots and keep your jeans dry. Here in the Pacific Northwest, land of constant rain, this is vital the way self air conditioned pantsuits are vital in a Georgia summer. (The latter may not exist, but they’re still vital.)

So if you find yourself unable to resist the call of skinny jeans, there’s much to be said for making your own from an old pair of non-skinny jeans. First of all, they’ll be more comfortable since they’re already worn in, and they won’t fit so tightly as to cut off circulation to your feet, as all the storebought ones I’ve tried on seem to. Also, you won’t have to deal with the hassle of finding a pair of skinny jeans in the store that aren’t completely skanky.

This project is truly so easy an intoxicated chipmunk could probably manage it. If it had a sewing machine. If you, who are not a chipmunk, have a sewing machine and remain at least mostly un-intoxicated, you should be fine.

What you’ll need:

• a pair of jeans that already fit you
• straight pins
• scissors
• a pen
• sewing machine
• thread
• seam ripper

Putting it all together:

1) Put the jeans on and make a note of approximately how much too wide they are in the lower leg. Take the jeans off and turn them inside out.

2) Using your seam ripper, tear out the bottom hem on each leg.

3) Lay the jeans completely flat on the floor, with the inside seam of each leg running exactly along the edge where the jean legs are folded.

4) Put a pin at the same height on each leg, right at the knee. Now pin each leg together from that point to the bottom, along the inside edge.

5) Draw a line going from the knee to the bottom of each leg, angling inward gradually. (Use a ruler if you wish, for maximum exactness.) This will create a long, narrow triangle along the inside edge of each leg. You don’t actually need to take as much width off each leg as you probably think you do. Start small – you can always draw the line further in if you need to.

6) Sew along this line, backstitching at either end. Start by sewing very long stitches (set your machine to 4, or your longest stitch) so you can pick them out easily if you sewed too far in. Then try the jeans on to see if you’ve made them skinny enough, too skinny, or not skinny enough. Adjust and resew the line as necessary.

7) When the jeans fit the way you want them to, sew along your new seam once more (jeans take a lot of strain, wear and tear, so double-stitching for extra strength is always a good idea) and then trim off the extra.

8) Do a finishing zig-zag stitch along the new raw edge.

9) Fold the bottoms up and resew your hems.

See, that was pretty simple, right? You can use this method to narrow any pair of jeans by any amount. And while I remain entirely unconvinced that skinny jeans have any flattering effects on the average figure, I am content to know that my feet and legs will remain dry this winter. At least I don’t have to wear a goofy looking snowsuit.